“Going out for a snack — a Big Mac,”
Said the man to his wife. “Be right back.”
“No you won’t! Don’t you dare,”
Said his wife, “or your bear
Of a mom shall be giving you flack!”
Archive for the ‘Marriage Humor’ Category
The “Weapon” (Limerick)
Sunday, August 2nd, 2026Rage (Limerick)
Sunday, July 26th, 2026An old fellow would rage night and day,
While his wife tried to keep him at bay.
He’d lash out for no reason
With rants about treason.
(At least, THAT’s what her lawyer will say.)
Communication Glitch (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 21st, 2026Poor Stuart was feeling perplexed,
And NOT just little bit vexed
By his wife’s “Honey do
Buy me honeydew, Stu!”
(He’ll be needing a translator next.)
Failure to Communicate? (Limerick)
Friday, July 3rd, 2026“Please slow down and repeat what you said,”
A gal begged her impatient spouse Ned.
“And do NOT blame my ears:
After two or three beers,
Your words rush, veer, & tumble ahead.”
Cluttered Limerick
Sunday, June 21st, 2026“Please do SOMETHING with all of your clutter,
And for REAL this time. Don’t simply putter!”
What a common refrain,
Addressed mostly in vain
To a spouse who’ll evade or rebut her!
The Gift (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 16th, 2026An old woman is terribly miffed;
It’s her birthday, so cue quite the rift:
Seems her spouse, ev’ry year,
Buys her negligee, sheer
(Which he knows she won’t wear) – as a “gift.”
Anniversary Limerick For My Great Husband Mark
Thursday, June 4th, 2026A limerick for my wonderful husband Mark Kane on our 48th Wedding Anniversary! Thanks for 48 great years, hon! (49, if you count the time from the moment we met.)
I felt like a misfit for years:
A feeling that drove me to tears.
But my life was re-set
On the day that I met
Mark G. Kane. To my husband, Three Cheers!
A Fishy Limerick
Sunday, August 31st, 2025I’m amazed that my husband can eat
Canned sardines. (Hubby swears they’re a treat!)
Just a miniscule dose
Of their smell, oh so gross,
Makes me nauseous; NOT puking’s a feat!
The Hoarder (Limerick)
Friday, July 25th, 2025Keeping order’s impossibly hard
When your husband, a hoarder, stands guard
To ensure “priceless” crap’s
Not thrown out while he naps.
So my odds of success? Not one shard!
The Arrangement (Limerick)
Sunday, July 13th, 2025When caught ‘cheating,’ a fellow exclaimed
To his wife, “Hon, I should not be blamed!
Cuz I clearly recall
The arrangement we all
Made last week with the woman you maimed.”
Kitchen Duties (Limerick)
Saturday, May 24th, 2025Hubby’s cooking is NOT to be missed.
My job’s cleanup; that’s how I assist.
Hone my skills at the stove?
‘Twould be pointless, by Jove,
For my cooking-chops just don’t exist.
The Engagement (Limerick)
Friday, April 25th, 2025When my boyfriend proposed, mom was pleased:
“No returns, no exchanges,” she teased.
She was thrilled with our match,
For she thought him a catch…
And her “old maid” concerns were appeased.
Clutter Conflict (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 8th, 2025An old fellow who’d putter all day
Would refuse to throw refuse away.
When his wife tried to deal
With his clutter, he’d squeal
As he rescued his rubbish array.
Yet Another St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
Tuesday, March 18th, 2025My dear husband’s gone off to a pub.
I’ve stayed home cuz I hate all the grub
That they serve on this day.
Consume corned beef? No way!
Plus I’ve joined the new “Recluses Club.”
Loose Ends (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 22nd, 2025“Have you noticed that men can’t abide
Being told that a lace is untied?
A mere warning that’s gentle
Turns many males ‘mental.’
I am fit to be tied,” cried the bride.
Thanksgiving Reflections (Limerick)
Thursday, November 28th, 2024’24 has been tough! That’s no jive.
(Trump’s election sure gets no high-five!)
On a personal note,
Hubby Mark gets my vote…
And I’m thankful we’re both still alive.
Spurning Sardines (Limerick)
Sunday, November 24th, 2024After learning that today is National Sardines Day, I felt compelled to pen this limerick:
How I loathe the vile smell of sardines.
It’s far worse than the farts caused by beans.
When my spouse grabs a can
Of those critters… oh, man,
I must flee, lest I sully my jeans.
Tunnel Vision (Limerick)
Sunday, May 19th, 2024“I’m afraid of long tunnels! Can’t do it,”
Said a claustrophobe. “Stop, or you’ll rue it!”
“Close your eyes and don’t whine,”
Said his wife. “You’ll be fine!
You can open them now. You got through it!”
The Shrieker (Limerick)
Friday, May 17th, 2024A young woman who talks a blue streak,
Has a voice that’s a maddening shriek.
But although she is yappy,
Her hubby seems happy.
(It must help that the man’s an antique.)
My Skewed Views (Limerick)
Friday, May 10th, 2024When instructed to “Look over there”
At an elephant, artwork, or chair,
I will look the wrong way,
At some other display.
Will I see what I’m meant to see? Ne’er!
I don’t mean to look elsewhere, I swear.
Yet perversely, I can’t help but stare
To the left, when the right’s
Where I might see the sights
That my hubby’s attempting to share.
